July 2011 ~ My M.O.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Hands Down.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Halloween Is Creeping Upon Us.

Halloween is soon approaching and I've been contemplating some costumes for myself, i.e. the Sun Drop Girl, Gloria Allred, Consuela (the housekeeper from Family Guy) or maybe Schwarzenegger's mistress (I think Consuela's character is depicted after her).

Looking to scare the $%^& out of everyone, get killed, or possibly beheaded?! Check out this mask for a costume, precisely crafted out of latex, and an enormous rarity. I guess that justifies why some idiot bought it for almost a million dollars. Our country is in default, but people are spending six figures on a mask of a woman who should never show her face again. Priorities...Click the title for the jump!

CASEY ANTHONY LATEX RUBBER MASK EXT. RARE

Item condition: Pre-owned Ended: Jul 27, 201118:00:34 PDT Bid history:

105 bids

Winning bid: US $999,900.00

No Returns Accepted

For My Fellow Fitness Gurus..

I spent Tuesday afternoon at the bookstore knee deep in multiple fitness publications and came across a little gem that I would like to share with you all...

Similar to Groupon and LivingSocial, Active.com launched Schwaggle a few months ago to deliver exclusive sport and fitness discounts on products, races, registrations and gear. The site presents offers 3 times a week and continues to roll out local deals city-by-city with Miami coming soon. Get your Schwaggle on HERE!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

"My Tears Dry On Their Own.."

Amy Winehouse was laid to rest today. May she finally find peace.

Monday, July 25, 2011

A Serious Note

This morning, the nation of Norway held a moment of silence for the victims of the terrible massacre that occurred on Friday in the city of Oslo and at Utoya Camp. I cannot even fathom the terror whirling through the minds of the victims and those who "played dead" just to survive. My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected. It's an incomprehensible world that we live in.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

How To Survive Summer.

Let's face it, it's hot as a chupacabra's squeal up in here. Most of us are indoors on this lazy Sunday, basking in the crisp central air conditioning that we just cannot imagine living without. This ridiculous heat is melting our souls and all hope of maintaining a decent, non-sasquatch-like appearance quickly sizzles before our eyes. For those of us who workout outdoors, yea, I didn't think it was humanly possible to sweat that much either.
So how do we survive the summer heat and live to see another season? Let Marissa count the ways...

HYDRATE!
I cannot stress the importance of proper hydration enough. We live in a society where people only drink water with Crystal Light mixed in or when it is in the form of ice cubes. Stop being idiots and drink up! The most ridiculous excuse is, "I don't like the taste of water". Oh, so you can't stand the taste of something that has no taste, yet, you'll down some disgusting Patron shots and drink Tampico on the daily. Ugh. As a population, we just aren't drinking enough water and are just not seeing OR peeing clearly. Especially if you are exercising, it is imperative to be hydrated unless you want that tingling, cold feeling in your body where you start to see black spots all over. Not the best feeling, trust me. You want to lose weight, achieve optimal athletic performance and have glowing skin? Start drinking water, cut out all the other garbage and start being an adult.

Keep the sunglasses dark and the window tints darker.
Of course sunglasses for that rush hour fiesta where the sun beams in your face no matter what or stunner shades to hide behind while running errands that seem to suck the life out of you in this heat. I suggest illegal car tints as well. Sure you run the risk of getting a ticket, hence the reason I roll my windows down while driving through Pinecrest or Miami Springs, but it's totally worth the leather seats that don't singe my ass, not having my appearance dissipate while driving in my car, and being able to sing in my car without people judging me for my talents.

Keep alcohol intake to a minimum. This is correlated with proper hydration and your reputation. Alcohol = dehydration. There is nothing worse than a morning after drinking and not having 300 deliciously cold water and Gatorade bottles waiting for you on your nightstand with a side of Motrin. Just doesn't happen. Also, if you're out drinking it up, you're most likely dancing like a video vixen outside, sweating, and morphing into a soggy disaster. Not a good look. Yes we are all guilty now and then, but a couple cocktails, some easy dancing, and a functional morning is how it should be done.

Invest in some serious antiperspirant.
Especially you sweaty men. You don't want to be that guy in the pictures with the proud pit stains. There are a bunch of clinical strength deodorants with probably a disturbingly unhealthy amount of aluminum zirconium, but hey they seem to work. I'm a fan of Dove Clinical Strength Antiperspirant. Apply at night and I'm good for the day. I reapply my regular Dove pre-workouts though, but it works amazingly with no residue or marks on my clothes. It's the little things guys...

For the metrosexuals, keep the hair gel, intoxicating/unbearable cologne, and guayaberas to a minimum.
For the prissy ladies, hair products, makeup, and anything creamy applied to the body should be kept light. Chances are unless your hair was sent to you by and angel or keratin infused like mine (and trust me, I still struggle immensely with my hair), your hair and the humidity will battle it out with the humidity deemed victorious. Most of your makeup will slip off by the end of the night so stick with primers, mineral powders, and anything anti-shine. Some of my lasting faves for a complete look: Sephora Foundation Primer, L'Oreal Mineral Foundation Powder (it's cheap, matte-ifies and is gentle on sensitive skin like mine), and Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner (this stuff does not budge!).

And with that, stay cool, classy and have a great week! I'm off to run!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Thanks For Existing.

Me and 'Bo go way back.

Fashion Tape: Right ladies?!

Self-explanatory. Geniuses.

Manufactured in heaven.

Give your taste buds a kick in the ass

Emma Stone, I love you.

Kings of Leon.

My daily staple.

Amazon Kindle

Philosophy Amazing Grace. Amazing.

Illegal tints. To hide from the creeps of course.

Mr. Bump Alarm Clock. Throw against wall to snooze!

Goody ColourCollection clips. I go through at least 348 per week.

Dirty car art. Car washes are so last year...

Modern Family.

Dry Shampoo.

My Jungle Fitness family :)

Coffee. NOW!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Ridiculous Things That Trigger My Anxiety But Shouldn't.

ME IN COLLEGE RELAXING

That ten second WWIV of shuffling through my gigantour purse and not being able to feel the cold scratched up plastic of my cell phone against my fingers. Did I feed it to the Ninja Turtles and drop it in the sewer or get pickpocketed by a midget in CVS and not notice?

Grabbing a basket at Publix and not planning accordingly. I came for 3 things yet basket is overflowing with nonsense, am walking with a limp from the burdensome and unbalanced weight I am carrying, yet am too lazy to go to the front and get an actual cart.

Post-sunburn peeling. Why is my face tickling me?! What are all these flaky pieces of skin on my nose that I can see if I cross my eyes hard enough?!

Did I pack a toothbrush!? Because for some reason I think that whatever major metropolitan city I am traveling to, toothbrushes don't exist there. Nope.

Having exact change at the Starbucks drive-thru, then a quarter/nickel/penny/your soul drops down into the abyss that is between your seat and center console. Forget ever finding that again after trying to shimmy your retarded fingers down there. Paying with plastic, thanks.

Being next to a celebrity and dying to tell them how much you love them but then remembering that you're almost in your 30s and adults shouldn't be starstruck over famous people. Instead of giving the celeb the satisfaction of their presence you eye them up and down, judge them, pretend they aren't there, and then tell all your friends how horrible they look in person.

People that respond to my texts with "K". Did I do something wrong textually? Did I offend your future child? I know it's not just me people!

When restaurants don't provide Splenda. Equal equals garbage. Sweet n' Low should just retire and move to Florida already. Yes, I am that girl who carries Splenda in her purse.

When I can't get rings off my fingers. Usually this happens when I sleep with them on like a dumbass. And also when I wear those 2 or 3 finger rings that look a little like brass knuckles. It can never be a nice loose ring that slides off. Fingers are swollen in the morning and my heart starts racing because I can feel my phalanges start to strangle themselves and cry out for help. Ugh.

That guy who cleans your windshield in traffic with water from the Miami River and the "Homeless Voice" newspaper. He, we will call him Bruce for the sake of this anecdote, usually approaches like a sniper and after waving my finger with multiple "No"s, he proceeds to spray and dirty my car.I then roll down the window and the convo is usually as follows:

Me: "Um, no thanks I'm good, I'm good."
Bruce: "Ma, I gotchu!" ::flashes his 4 teeth at me::
Me: "No no no, I'm good thanks" ::proceeds to drive slowly::
Bruce: "Just tryna hustle ma, I gotchu uknowwhaimsayin" :smiles::

I then give him a dollar or two. He wins and buys a 40.

When paper, especially book paper, is rubbed together. Just kill me right there.

Slipping and falling in the bathtub. When the paramedics arrive and see me laying there naked, ashamed, mid-shampoo and mid-shave, who knows what they will think. At least wrap me up in the shower curtain first. I already had a bad experience when I sprained my ankle in Tahoe.

Passing a tractor trailer. I give myself a mini pep speech beforehand reminding myself that I must pass the truck for my own safety. I assure myself that the driver will see my little car in his side mirror and not crush me against the median or any other vehicle.

Anything that could lead to my teeth falling out. I've dreamt of it, I know what those dreams mean. These teeth are paid for.

Watching ice skating. Every time the skater does some triple-no-se-que jump in the air, there's an 80% chance his/her ass will be kissing the ice soon after. For such graceful movements, it's really stressful to watch.

Seeing a stray animal. I wish I could be Ace Ventura but I could never pull off the hair and Hawaiian shirts. I will think about the animal and what could have been for another 5 minutes then I'll forget about it and go get a drink.

Driving on the Palmetto Expressway.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

SHEros

Nike has just released its new 'Make Yourself' ad campaign shot by renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz, featuring some pretty badass chicks, two of my favorite, dancer Sofia Boutella and soccer star Hope Solo. Motivation to get out and make yourself BETTER.