Things I have learned/am learning from my sister:

My older sister turns 30 today. They say when you're over the hill you pick up speed.

• Your bedroom floor is such a convenient walk-in closet. Minimal spatial limits, duh!
• When given a potentially dangerous opportunity at a young age, such as a pair of scissors, go on an adventure and cut off half of your hair, especially in your bangs area, so that you will be forced to take school pictures that way! Yay!
• In a family of 3 siblings, the ratio of funny/ridiculously entertaining siblings to non-funny/ridiculously entertaining is usually 2:1. I'm just going to say it, my brother and I are hilarious, thanks.
• It's okay to give your car a human name, usually named after your favorite Disney character.
• Usually in a set of siblings, one makes a disastrous mess, and the other cleans up after. It's just how it is, don't ask questions.
• If your sibling tells you "Yea, go get in the pool, I'll be right out!", it means he's/she's not getting in and he/she will mock you through the sliding glass doors in the backyard. 
• Who needs a foundation sponge when you can use any cloth-like article closest to you?!?!
• A girl can never have enough shoes....in the hallway, the living room, by the front door, in her car, in her sister's closet, at her friend's houses, outside Publix, under I-95, etc....
• One of the requirements of attending an all-girl Catholic school is not shaving your legs. 
• Organic canned refried beans is an appropriate post-workout meal.
• Applying eye shadow is a skilled trade and there is an underground network that can teach it to you.
• Some people are actually human and do not need coffee in the morning. I don't know how she does it....
• Sometimes the best flat iron is a clothing iron. Resourcefulness guys!
• An acceptable dance move is raising your arm up like an impromptu pole and whipping your hair back and forth around it.
• Some babies are born with alien-shaped heads. 
• If an older sibling gets a speeding ticket, a younger sibling is immediately born  in order to collect the mail everyday thereafter and throw away all evidence that could potentially get in the hands of their parents.
• My sister taught me how to look for split ends when bored in class. This has developed into a serious trichotillomania, and I now have no hair. Thanks sis.
• Sanrio is a hard addiction to kick.
• Some people react to cute, loving dogs, the same way they would if they were to be mugged or surrounded by 1,000 laughing clowns packed into an elevator.
• In high school, size 0  can be achieved by drinking Coke for breakfast, eating daily packs of Cadbury Creme Eggs or Sweet Tarts and passing up on anything of real nutritional value!
• When all else fails, drive with your knee.
• Never. Settle. For. Anything. Or. Anyone.
• Running over toads is fun and powerful. We run this!
• In order to let others know you really mean business and what you are about to say or have said is very important, it is imperative to begin OR end your sentences with the phrase "like, seriously."
• Some people don't know how to order from Starbucks. Respect.