Happy 65th Birthday to Mrs. Paula Deen!
Thank you for your disgustingly copious use of butter, heavy creams and other artery encrusting ingredients and for always having that wonderful hungry smile on your face in the backdrop of your own Georgia kitchen! I know your fans love watching you from their hospital beds or post-gastric bypass recovery centers and please know that we were all extremely blown away by your recent diabetes diagnosis. Who would've thought huh? What were the signs?! I'm glad you've taken your health into consideration now as you continue to fry up chicken that surely tastes like Butterfinger, mix in your contagious Southern sass, and ultimately spew your evil genius marketing skills upon the world. Thank you for your dubious partnership with a recently approved diabetes drug. Anthony Bourdain clearly applauds your antics as he is "thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business so he can sell crutches later". Well done.
My heart beats irregularly just watching you.
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