"When You Wish Upon A Star, Makes No Difference Who You Are.."

I'm off to Disney this weekend for a race and some much needed escape. I haven't been in such a long time so I'm looking forward to it. Here's to "the happiest place on earth" and to the greatest animated movies ever made, mostly my faves, old school VHS style and freshly blu-rayed :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Top Ten Irrational Fears

In no particular order.

• Getting locked in a department store and having to spend the night there alone with only the merchandise and mannequins to talk to.
• Dropping something of importance into a storm drain or street gutter, i.e. keys, phone, self-respect.
• Falling into a volcano. I don't know how this situation would be set up although I've been to the volcanoes in Nicaragua and uh I saw no safety rails, hazardous signs, or a heads up anywhere, so this one could happen guys.
• Having my teeth fall out. Could be just one, or all. Oh the horror! I dream about it a lot, and I know there are multiple interpretations as to its significance; however, at the end of the day, you will be left with less or no teeth so you lose. True story, (and I have many witnesses) in 5th grade, at Alexander Montessori, one of my peers walked into the class headbanging to his own disturbing heavy metal thoughts and banged his tooth on the classroom television. Not knowing what happened, he looked up at us and there he stood, with only one front tooth. I'm pretty sure we all peed our pants that day as we got on the floor and searched for his tooth. We found it, and thanks to some cosmetic procedures, he has all his teeth to this day.
• Slipping and falling on black ice. This is an easy given. Black ice is the devil. I was first introduced to it during my college years in New England and you just don't see it. It blends in with the asphalt and is attributed to tons of car accidents and hilarious slip-n-falls that I witnessed on campus. I didn't drive up north so that was taken out of the equation but I'm not perfect. I slid on black ice countless times but never fell and I knew people saw me so I'd always turn around and say, "guys be careful with that right there." That sort of acknowledgement lessened the embarrassment.
• Closing my medicine cabinet mirror and seeing a ghost or apparition. Could be Anna Nicole in all her beauty but if you are deceased or not my sister telling me to move over so she can straighten her hair, then I do not want to see your reflection behind me.

•  Having anything pierce/brush/taunt my eyeball. Weird to even think about, I know. I panic when I can feel an eyelash. If you want to torture me, show me a Lasik eye procedure. Holy crap.
• Getting stuck in an elevator with someone who likes to talk a lot, is gassy, or claustrophobic. Spare  me.
•  Hallways. Um, I think I'm not alone when I say that hallways are every child and adult's (do not act hard) fear. At any moment, Freddy Krueger and his mistresses can easily pop out of any of the multiple doorways and snatch you from the said hallway. Your parents will never know what happened to you and will be forced to tie yellow ribbons to your fence in hopes for your return. Growing up in a two-story house, with my parents' room all the way upstairs on the other side of the house was quite the traumatic experience. At night, after escaping the ominous hallway, I had to face the stairs and run up them because I always had a feeling someone was chasing me and would gnaw on my ankles. Oh, am I the only one? 
• Catheters. Oh, you're hospitalized? Let's make this experience even more non-enjoyable by inflicting further and excessively uncomfortable pain and awkward discomfort. But what color would you like your hospital bracelet to be in as we want to make your stay here as pleasant as possible.

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L.O.V.E.

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Insomnia Is A Heinous Bia.

So it's nearing 2 am. I now have a special Apple device catered to my social media and blogging rituals. The BlackBerry will be used for untapped phone calls, sexting, emails to inmates, the usual...Full touchscreen is a bigger mission than Operation Iraqi Freedom. Imagine people with fat fingers...what a struggle that must be besides sitting comfortably on planes...

Major late night post-car-accident anxiety ninjas are numbchucking (sp?) the hell out of my brain, which, in essence, is ridiculous considering I can spend all day fluttering around my house like a domesticated and evanescent butterfly, focused on my tasks at hand, yet once my head hits my pillow, my tornadic-like (just let it be a word tonight) thought process kicks in and I stay awake thinking about the infinite things I need to do, if I need to replenish my Sunpass, who does Nancy Grace's hair, how idiotic Rob Kardashian is, Christmas shopping list compilations, etc. This is like a slow death. I better not be the only one. Blogging from the comforts of this lightweight device resting effortlessly on my chest could be dangerous.

Oh and I have 5 am bootcamp. As in 3 hours from now for all you magical geniuses.
As the legendary Carlos Estevez recently stated in his Comedy Central Roast, "I'm not winning anymore because I've already won."


::rolls eyes and rolls over::

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I Like Your Packaging..

So thanks to my lifestyle of a "clean" diet that I try my absolute best to follow, I stray away from eating most packaged foods. Usually they are drowned in sodium, MSG, and every chemical shit storm you can fathom. However, I did come across some articles in some very note-worthy health nut magazines that listed the best packaged foods to choose from for women (although I'm pretty sure men can and do eat most of this). Let's be real, we live a life on-the-go, so you're welcome...

• V8 Low Sodium Vegetable Juice - I hear it's best if you add vodka and a celery stalk, voila!!
• Stacy's Pita Chips - Baked not fried, keep it to a small serving though. They are addicting.
• Pistachios - Good fat, least calories for a larger serving and has a heftier serving of fiber. Have you seen how great Snooki looks in the pistachio commercials? NOT.

• Emerald Breakfast Blend- I live on these! Delicious mix with apple caramelized almonds, yogurt raisins, etc. Plus only $1.99 each at Publix.

• Tribe Origins Classic Hummus - I know we all like the creamy Sabra brand (the one w/ the red lid) but Tribe is preservative-free, less fat and calories, and has a more real hummus taste. 
• Jell-O Temptations - The Jell-O for "grownups", these things are sinfully delicious and filling. Try them  without the guilt.
• Popcorn Indiana All-Natural Kettlecorn - I get the big bag from Costco. The serving size is more than what you need, very low in fat, and that sweet/salty toggle that your tastebuds will love.

• Grey Poupon Country Dijon - I miss these commercials :( This grainy and seedy mustard is a classic and doesn't carry the fat and sugar that other condiments such as mayo and honey mustard pack. Try a sandwich with no mayo, you won't notice the difference!
• Luna Minis & Protein Bars - Steered just for women, Luna has recently debuted their protein bar line and now have mini bars just for a little pick-me-up. Packed with folic acid, calcium, iron, and protein and with minimal calories, these are a great option for us girls.
• Silk Pure Unsweetened Almond Milk - This stuff has changed my life.
• Stonyfield Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt - I love all Greek yogurts, ahem Fage, but these have high amounts of calcium for our lovely delicate bones.
• Lipton Vanilla Caramel Truffle Tea - If your willpower is like IronMan, this could sub as a tasty dessert option. This tea is delicious and you could even mix in a little steamed milk. The pyramid tea bag allows ample room for the hot water to infuse the tea, better extracting its rich color and flavor.

• Bird's Eye Pepper Stirfry - Delicious, 25 cals per serving, and flash frozen, meaning that when thawed or cooked it is still fresh tasting as ever. Add some protein in the mix.
• Publix Brand Steam-In-The-Bag Veggies - Cheap, not doused in a secret sauce, and just throw in the microwave. Mixed veggies, cauliflower and broccoli are the best.
• Smart Balance Butter - Omega-3s, many varieties and is real BUTTER! Did we all read how margarine was used to fatten turkeys and runs in the same chemical family as PLASTIC?! Ok then. 
• Truwhip - Not Cool Whip. No hydrogenated oils, trans fats, or high fructose corn syrup. Sold at Whole Foods if you want just a little sweetness.
• Annie's Organic Whole Wheat Cheddar Shells - a staple for my sister. Annie's has a line of products that are delicious with many cute and healthy products for children. 

• Pretzel M&M's - a taste of chocolate with a pretzel filling = less calories and fat. Yumma!
• Amy's Organic Soups - soups are tricky because most are packed with sodium and unnecessary ingredients. Amy's has an entire line of low-sodium soups that are delicious. Amy's brand has pretty much taken over Whole Foods and has delicious lean frozen meals, condiments, and are committed to natural and fresh products.

• Gardein - Garden + Protein. Deliciously meatless options. I am obsessed with these and they taste delicious and are packed with protein, minimal fat and less than 100g sodium. They offer meatless burgers, chicken scallopini, steak tips, chicken strips, fresh and frozen etc. You would never know they were vegetarian!

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United We Stand

"It's not how hard you hit. It's how hard you get hit...and keep moving forward." 
-Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture

I wasn't sure I wanted to write today. 10 years later. I am too overcome with emotion and overwhelming thoughts and I wasn't sure how I could convey a positive and uplifting message across to you all as I normally do.
Here's to trying...

I went briefly this morning to my church and lit a candle outside of mass. I lit a candle for universal strength  and remembrance. I didn't light it for myself, for my family, for the job I've applied to, but for everyone. I just wanted to dedicate it to everyone.
This day, ten years ago, our lives changed forever. Do we remember when we could run up to the airport gate as little kids and greet our loved ones getting off planes? However petty that may be, it mattered and I believe it is all these seemingly overlooked moments that we need to reflect upon and appreciate.
I don't just speak for myself when I say that it's been a rough ride for us all. Whether recently or years ago, we've all been hardened by powerful, traumatic, and difficult changes in our lives. From relationships, to financial hardships, losses, to layoffs, we've faced them head on and the story line continues. Key word: continues. Life goes on and will continue to do so. Let us remember that.  Let us remember the fragility of life and live it till the wheels fall off...

In remembrance of all those lost, loved but never forgotten.

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The Months To FALLow

September 23rd marks the first day of FALL! We may not see a beautiful change in seasons like all my pals in the North do, but here are some things that most of us, especially Floridians look forward to:

FOOTBALL!!!! I grew up in a household where chants and yells shattered glass and tore down walls due to my brother and his friends watching football. We would run over to the living room to see if a murder occurred, but it was just a natural reaction of watching great football. Outdoor BBQs, all-day tailgating, Fantasy Football, excessive amounts of unnecessary alcohol, just to name a few. I'm more of a college football fanatic and am super excited for a great season and distraction!

Slightly cooler weather/less soul-draining humidity. Since we practically live on the equator, it takes a while for the weather to cool just a little but we will accept any change with open arms. Then come December, when it hits just below 70 degrees, we all don't know how to get into our cars in the morning, bust out with the North Face, and try to use our home heater without the house smelling like bacon (it does I swear).

Pumpkin spice latte! I believe it's already in stores. There is something comforting and wallet draining when Starbucks changes its cups and menu for the holidays. My favorite is the peppermint-white mocha when I decide to indulge, once in a blue moon.

For the ladies, mauve, plum, eggplant, purple, gemtones, navy, black will all be resonating with us this season whether its nail polishes, wardrobe colors, or lipstick shades. The deeper, the better.
Also, pale skin, boots, boyfriend sweaters, structured jackets, tights, knits, and cool fall accessories swirl amongst us this season. Fashion week is in September for a reason, get inspired.

Television! My favorite shows are coming back for a new season such as Modern Family (if you have not seen it and don't think it is ridiculously real and hilarious then you are a monster), Glee, Gossip Girl (my go-to show for fall fashion ideas), Grey's Anatomy, and new shows like Whitney. I need a Tivo in my life if I plan on having a life...

Countdown to the holidays. Labor Day could technically mark the beginning of the holiday season. You have a fall break with Columbus Day that is not a real holiday and just a reason for you Miamians to go out on a boat and get ridiculously and regretfully trashed. But hey, at least classes are off and most people have a 3 day weekend. Then cut to Halloween at the end of October, and almost immediately afterwards, stores are prepping their floors with Holiday decor and sales, Black Friday destroys us at the end of November, holiday commercials like the Coca-Cola polar bears, and ABC Family reruns of "Elf" stain our television screens and then bam! Santa will be here!

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"Hey 12-Grain Bread Makers, Settle The Hell Down.."

I've sort of let go of my standards when it comes to recent television programs and have been dabbling excessively in reality tv. Here are the shows in summation:

Flipping Out - I love Jeff Lewis. He's my gubby (gay hubby).


Jersey Shore - Watching the disaster that is Sammi and Ronnie is almost harder than admitting that I actually watch the show.


Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations - He eats, curses, drinks, and judges even more on this new season. I feel though that he may have forgotten his toothbrush on his travels. Nevertheless, tough job. Plus he's away from his wife and kids and getting paid for it. The American Dream y'all.


Restaurant Impossible - Am I the only one who thinks Robert Irvine is attractive?


Chopped- Ironic title for a show whose contestants are literally cutting phalanges off on their surrounding chopping boards.


The Real Housewives of New Jersey - Teresa and Joe Giudice are ballin' through bankruptcy and tacky taste. Spoiled Ashley needs to be run over by her Jeep that her parents bought for her. Caroline Manzo needs to relinquish her obsession with Alexa Ray Joel (she won't be marrying your son, sorry).
Melissa, your boredom and velour outfits will not kick off your singing career. Just stop.

Jerseylicious - Why do I watch this?! Olivia is what I am naming my daughter, and sadly there is one on the show who wears leather chaps with lace leggings. I also did not know the "perfect smoky eye" came from Jersey, who knew...


The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - The season premiere (post Russell Armstrong suicide) was on last night. The Bravo Channel quickly covered its ass by injecting into the premiere, a clip of the ladies in mourning after the incident and after the episode, a "Suicide Hotline" commercial. I feel for Taylor, she was already a collagen-esque mess so we can only imagine what she's going through now.

Lisa Vanderpump, her hubby Ken, and their toy dog-always-under-his-arm Giggy should have their US Visas taken away permanently and be relocated to the Libyan border. I'm actually liking Camille Grammer more this season because she is divorcing a total d-bag and doesn't talk as much. Kyle Richards and Adrienne stand as my faves, mostly because Kyle had children too young and Adrienne married a plastic surgeon. My life goal in one sentence..



Most Eligible Dallas - I just let out a huge Rick Ross-like grunt upon typing this entry. I feel like none of these people are anywhere near "most eligible".
Drew, yea you have a 24/7 concierge that feeds fries to your dogs, but you are an embarrassment to the gay community that knows about exotic cars.
Glenn, you played for a dozen NFL teams yet no one knows who you are or cares as they are blinded by your glossy bald head.
Tara, are you wearing dentures? I swear, watch her speak!
Matt and Courtney you both are so annoying and in denial. We know you have 3 kids together, most likely hiding in Angelina & Brad's french maison basement. You are fooling no one!

Keeping Up With the Kardashians - I don't think I can keep up with them anymore. It is really exhausting to be so fascinated by brunette weaves and cheek implants. Kim was just proposed to on the episode last night and Ryan Seacrest has been dreaming of this wedding ever since he was a little girl.

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Long Weekend!

Labor Day weekend has arrived! I can't believe it's already September! We are almost 3/4 through the year! Pretty soon we will have the holidays down our throats so let's enjoy this weekend traveling, with friends, family or the stray dogs roaming Hialeah.
Enjoy!

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