APRIL, YOU FOOL.

I AM BACK!!!!

Apologies. In summation, I have relocated to Boston for a bit, so yea, I guess I was a bit occupied! I'm back now and that's all that matters guys. 

My fingers are nervously tapping on these keys trying to think of what to even begin writing about. 

Let's debrief quickly, bullet style.

• I'm really happy to be back in Boston. Clear head, clear mind. Surrounded by some amazing people. Miami, I will be back shortly because I miss you too.
• Instagram is now available on Droid phones. Join the addiction.
• Marlins had their game opener yesterday. They lost but at least played in a beautiful half billion dollar stadium. 364 games left to make it up hopefully.
• I have the Hunger Games trilogy staring at me on my dresser. I need a little more time for the 'odds to be ever in my favor'.
• If you ever want to feel immediately horrible about yourself, just play the London Olympics 2012 commercial on repeat and disappointingly reflect on what you haven't accomplished in your life.
• Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are rumored to be in a self-absorbed relationship together. They have branded the name Kimye. They also should not have children, together or alone.
• Power 96, yes I heard. But guys, DJ Laz's career was over way before he stepped down. Enjoy the nasally sounds of Lucy Lopez and the Yemisleysis girl who wants to give a shout out to her baby daddy who was recently deported.
• Frozen Planet on Discovery is a must-see every Sunday at 8 pm. Made by the Planet Earth creators, it is indeed something else. It has 4 weekly segments and the last 3 are constantly being replayed or you can find them online. Astoundingly unique as it is interesting, it is wonderfully narrated by Alec Baldwin. I envision  him sitting in his suit with his new gingerly colored hairdo smirking handsomely and hand motioning with his rough, thick hands. I watch too much 30 Rock.
• How horrible does Lindsay Lohan look these days? Like worn out K-Swiss sneaker soles. The classic ugly white ones.
• Largest Powerball jackpot last week was not won by me. I did buy a ticket. There was a 1 in 176 million chance I would never have to work again. My cousins won $10 up here and quickly went into safe hiding.
• When my baby cousin farts he goes, "excuse my butt." Gets me every time.
• I've never appreciated hearing Pitbull on the radio until I came to Boston. 305 for life.
• Tomorrow is Good Friday. No meat and reserved prayer session at 3 pm. Quick religious injection for my fellow Catholics.
• Tiger Woods' recent win is a great reminder that sex addiction and infidelity only affects your golf game for 923 days.
• Disney recently released Tangled Ever After. A 10 minute sequel to the movie. If you are just as obsessed with the movie as I am, you have to see this short film! I watch it over and over on my DVR and enjoy it way more than my 3 year old cousin who watches it with me.
• Ladies, enough with the crop tops everywhere. They look like awkward handkerchiefs and half of the people wearing them, should not be.

Going to make fresh hummus now. I will be posting everyday to catch up and reel you all back in with my lyrical charm.